The last potter
by ginnyrules27
Summary: What did Sirius mean when he said that Wormtail would hand over the Last of the Potters? Surely Harry had some family left? Here's what happened to the Potter Family and how James went from git to it in a certain red-head's eyes. AU
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

A/N: I OWN NOTHING! Except for Katyln and Amy, oh and the Potter cousins.

"James, get your fat arse down here!" a female voice resonated through Potter Manor.

"Katyln!" Mrs. Potter scolded. Katyln rolled her eyes; her mother hated it when she used 'vuglar' language, despite her being a sixth year.

"James, get your overlarge rear end down here!" her younger sister Amy cried, drowning out the sounds of her mother. Amy was the youngest, being only in fourth year.

"Amy!"

Before Mrs. Potter could scold her youngest, James slid down the banister with a look of depressed curiosty.

"Finally!" Amy cried throwing her hands up over her head. "I thought you'd leave us to suffer through the reunion all by ourselves."

James' look of curiosty changed to stunned disbielf. "You mean that's today?" he asked. "This is the reason I couldn't go and see Padfoot's new place?"

Sirius had turned seventeen a few weeks ago and had moved out with the thanks of his Uncle Alfred. While James missed having his best friend always by his side, it was nice not having to listen to his sisters moan over how attractive Sirius was every day.

"They are your family young man," Mrs. Potter warned. "Don't forget, you're not an adult yet."

James rolled his eyes. It was infuriating that there were four days until his seventeenth birthay and they were filled with family activities. There was an Auror workshop for possible new recruits the day after next, and his mum was determined to keep him from it just like the war.

"Aunt Linda and Uncle Albert are already here, along with the cousins," Katylin told him as they walked down the hall. James groaned. The cousins were determined to stop his pranking ways. James had around 6 cousins total in his family, but the ones that were the worst were _the _cousins: otherwise known as Jamie, Ross and Paul. They were the oldest of the Potter kids, something they delighted in rubbing into James' face. As James walked down to the front room, more Potter relatives could be seen. Drunk Uncle Aaron was chatting happily to Crazy Aunt Emma, Grandmother Potter was trying to tell the house elves what to do, and Adam (the youngest cousin) was busy crawling around everyone and getting underfoot.

"Glad to see we didn't warrant an invite," a scratchy voice cried from the front door. Fifteen people in masks were blocking the way out.

"James," Mr. Potter said softly. "Take your sisters and your cousins out the back."

James shot his father a glare. He wanted to stay and fight, if nothing else but to be able to wipe the smug look off of Paul's face. One look at his father's face, and James knew that it would be useless to argue. As he picked up Adam, the Death Eater who had spoken first opened fire. It was chaos. Dogding wayward spells, James shoved Katylin and Amy up the stairs and tossed Adam into Amy's arms.

"Be careful!" he cried and then ran back to gather up Pam and Pat who were twins. Once or twice, the green glow of the killing curse shown through the Manor, but James didn't know nor did he care who got hit or which side cast it. All he cared about was getting his cousins out of the mess. They were only eight; his sisters could at least defend themselves and Adam if they got trapped.

"Hello Potter," a voice sneered from the shadows. The figure stepped out, and to James' horror, had Pam. His wand was pointed right at her throat.

"You don't want to do that," he warned as James moved forward. "One word and whoops!"

"Let her go," James snarrled.

"No, I don't think I will," the voice said and James could almost hear a smirk come from his tone. From the corner of his eye, James saw Crazy Aunt Emma bring down one of the Death Eaters. She was a good fighter.

"Where's Pat?" James asked, trying to keep the Death Eater talking. They were right by the catwalk that looked over the front room. If Katylin or Amy had made it to saftey, he'd be able to signal them.

"Oh," the Death Eater said slyly. "Don't worry about him. He's otherwise engaged."

"With what?" James snarrled.

"Avada Kedavra!" the Death Eater cried and James watched, helpless, as the life was sucked out of his little cousin.

"You ask too many questions," the Death Eater simply said. Outraged, James began cursing spell after spell. The ones he'd learned in Snape's textbook (though he'd never tell him that) came in the most handy, but the Death Eater gave as good as he got.

"Not bad," he said almost as if he was bored. "But not good enough. Stupefy!"

James, distracted by the sound of cries coming from Jamie's direction, failed to deflect the stunner and fell back into darkness.

0000000000

When James came to, darkness had fallen. The only light was that of a green glow that seemed to wrap the house. James' heart seemed to be caught in his throat. Running outside, he saw a giant green skull with a snake coming out of it floating over the Manor.

"No," he gasped and ran back in. All around him were the dead bodies of his relatives. Grandmother Potter, covered in blood. Jamie and Paul, lying broken from where they had fallen off the stairs. His eyes began to blur, and as he carefully stepped over the bodies of Pat and Pam, he gasped as he saw his parents. His dad's throat had been slit opened while his mother had been hit with a reducto.

Falling to his knees, James bit back the tears that were threating to fall. Katylin and Amy would need him to be strong. Walking slowly up the stairs, his owl flew to his side and rubbed her head on his cheek. James went to Katylin's room first. It was the closest one, and the safest. Nothing. Trying not to panic, James went to his room next. The girls knew that he didn't like them in his room, but he'd forgive them if they were safe.

"Katylin?" he called out. "Amy? Adam?"

No one responed. Breathing sharply, and praying that they were just scared out of their minds to reply, James ran to Amy's room, the one closest to their parents' room. There, a horrible sight met his eyes. Both of his sisters were beaten with some curse, bruses were all over their bodies.

Adam had what seemed to be the quickest death. There was no sign of any marks on his body. The tears fell freely now. James sank to his knees and just bawled. He was all alone. He was the last Potter.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

A/N: I OWN NOTHING

After James stopped crying, he got up and left his sister's room. They just couldn't be dead. It was impossible. But there was one way to prove that this was just a horrible dream.

"Affy?" James said silently. Affy was his father's elf, and the elf to the Head of the Potter Household. James was next in line for that title along with every title his dad had gathered in his existence. But Dad had to be sleeping or something. This was just a prank, something designed by the cousins to make him stop pranking.

"Master James call for Affy?" an old elf said after a weak pop occurred, startling James. His wand was already in his hand and his mouth was opened to say the first thing that came to mind.

"So I can call you?" James said softly. Only the head of the Potter household could call that particular elf. Affy nodded sadly.

"Affy wishes it wasn't so sir. Master Charles and Mistress Olivia were the nicest people Affy has ever known." The elf bowed his head as James sank to the floor in shock. He was now head of the Potter household. He wasn't even seventeen!

"Would Master James like for Affy to alert the Ministry?" Affy asked politely. James could just nod. After the elf left, James sat there for a few minutes. He couldn't think of anything. When the shock cleared his mind, he was even more depressed than he was before. He walked down the hall to his room, the only room where he could sit and not be reminded of his sisters in some way. Pulling out a sheet of parchment, James inked his quill to prepare a list of things that he would need to do as Potter head.

-Contact Goblins and go over M-mum and D-dad's will

That was the only thing he could think of, or that he could write down. As he racked his brain for other things the Head of the Family would do (why didn't he pay attention when his father went over that before his sixth year?), James was transported to memory lane.

_It was around May in James' fourth year at Hogwarts. Sirius had just come into the common room with a big grin on his face. _

"_Look what I found," he said waving a book in front of Remus's face. _

"_It's a book," Remus said dryly. _

"_Not just any book," Sirius said. "But Snivellus's." _

_James' head shot up. "How do you know?" _

"_It was under his chair in the library." _

"_Why were you in the library?" Peter asked, interrupting. _

"_I was bored," Sirius shrugged. "I saw Snape go in there and thought: hey, lets go see what he's up to." _

"_So what's so important by his potion's book?" James asked. _

"_Look at all the spells he's got listed in here," Remus said, reading them. "I haven't even heard of a few of these." _

"_So?" Sirius said with a wicked grin. "Let's try them out. We can give it back to Snape when we're done." _

James shook his head after coming out of the memory in shock. Was it really that long ago when times almost seemed peaceful? Sure there was the war, but it didn't really affect them.

"Master James?" Affy's voice came from behind him. James jumped a mile before realizing that it was only the elf.

"The people from the ministry are here," Affy said. "They are removing the bodies."

James heard no more, as he tore out of the room. Those bodies (even though he shuddered to think about it) were members of the Potter Household and so should be buried in the Potter lot.

"Ah, James," the head auror sighed as she saw him. Mr. Potter and her had been good friends—not in the "I'll bribe you" sort of way—and it saddened her to see the extent of the damage that the Death Eaters had caused.

"You can't be removing the bodies?" James choked out. He couldn't it, not after all that had happened.

"I'm sorry, James," the head auror said. "But we've got to. I'll try to keep this out of the press for as long as I can but I can't promise anything."

James watched as each relative was placed in a bag and zipped up. He looked away when they brought out his parents and didn't even look toward the stairs when he heard footsteps.

"We need to find out what happened," the head auror explained. "But I promise you James, all the Potter relations will be buried in the Potter lot in Yewwood Cemetery."

As they left, James held himself together. It wouldn't do to have aurors see you cry. Once the last flame was burnt out in the floo, James felt stifled in the Manor. Running outside, not caring how dangerous it was, he morphed into his Stag form and ran through the woods that provided a natural barrier against enemies. He loved to fly through it and Katyln had loved climbing the trees.

_Enough!_ James thought, kicking a tree in anger. No matter where he went, there was a giant reminder of what he just lost. What he needed. His family.

A/N: I'm sorry that it's so short, but I am now getting writer's block for this story. It's like I'll think up a story and I'll know how I want it to sound but when I start typing it up it all flies out the window.

What did you think? Love it? Hate it? Depressed beyond belief?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

A/N: I own nothing!

James sat down in a compartment on the train and sighed. Had it been only two months since the attack on Potter Manor? It felt like a year. The house elves spent most of their time trying to convince him to eat; the meal on his 17th birthday was a feast. But he just wasn't hungry any more, or able to sleep. He hadn't been ever since he came back from the reading of his parents' will.

_James waited in the office of the Goblin in charge of Wizarding wills. It had been the day before his 17__th__ birthday, and the first time he'd left the Manor since the attack. _

"_Mr. Potter?" the goblin secretary said. "He's ready to see you." _

_James got up and walked into the office, where Ralfalg was sitting. _

"_Mr. Potter," Ralfalg bowed._

"_Master Goblin," James bowed back. "May your gold always flow." He told Ralfalg. _

"_Ah, yes." Ralfalg nodded. "To business." _

_James sat down, and was thankful that he did so as Ralfalg read what would make him the single richest wizard in Britain. 78 billion galleons, five separate properties including Potter Manor, several companies in both the muggle and the magical world (including a muggle company called Grunnings which made drills, whatever those are). _

"_Last thing Mr. Potter," Ralfalg said. "The Potter Ring. Only worn by the Head of the family." _

_James wasn't ready to claim the headship, but he had to otherwise the next person to claim it would be Lucius Malfoy. Putting on the ring, he muttered "Semper __**fortunatus." This was the family motto. The ring glowed a bright red, and then the stone which had been blue for as long as James could remember turned hazel. The exact hazel as his eyes. **_

"_**It is done," Ralfalg said. "Thank you Master Potter." **_

_**James could only bow and turn. He did not know what to say.**_

He rubbed his hazel eyes under his glasses when the door opened. He was thankful that he wasn't wearing the ring. The ring was in his trunk; he wasn't ready to claim the responsibility.

"Potter?" a voice rang out. James looked to the door and saw Lily Evans standing there looking confused. "What are you doing here? This is the Prefects compartment."

"I'm Head Boy Evans," James shrugged, the badge gleaming next to his Quidditch captain badge. He was so shocked when the badge came that he needed to sit down.

"What? How can that be?" Lily narrowed her emerald green eyes as if he was pranking her. Just then, Remus walked into the compartment. He looked at James as if he had never seen him before.

"Prongs?" Remus grinned but looked concerned at the same time.

"Oh Remus, thank Merlin!" Lily sighed. "Potter is trying to convince me that he's Head Boy. When did he steal your badge?"

"I'm not Head Boy Lily," Remus shook his head. "I didn't get the badge."

"But Potter can't possibly be!"

"Glad to know you've got such faith in me," James muttered and sat back down. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a gleaming Head Girl badge on Lily's chest. Oh. So that was why she was so upset. Remus sat down across from him and looked at him. Though the arrival of the other Prefects drew his attention away from James. After everyone was there, Lily stood up.

"Well, it's great to see everyone. My name is Lily Evans and I'm your Head Girl. Your Head Boy is James Potter." She gestured over to James, who had stayed seated.

"Merlin help us. A prankster and a mudblood," a Slytherin prefect muttered. James' eyes snapped right on the face of the prefect, but it didn't match the voice of Pam's (and possibly Pat's) murderer. Snape gave the prefect a sharp look (_When did Snape show up?_ James thought) but it was James who told him off.

"If you don't want me to suggest to Professor Dumbledore that you're unworthy of your position," James growled. "I'd suggest you be quiet and let your Head Girl finish talking."

He'd get the name of that Prefect from Remus later. Lily flashed him a look of surprised gratitude and continued to speak. After the meeting was over, everyone rushed out (the Slytherin fifth years had the first rounds).

"Potter," Lily said as James walked out. "Thank you."

"Just helping out my fellow Head," James said, a trace of his old self back on his face. He wasn't going to ask her out this year. It was clear that she didn't want him and maybe it was time to ask someone else. Besides, he didn't want her to get hurt. He walked out at the same time as Remus.

"James?" Remus said but James didn't hear him. "PRONGS!"

"What Moony?" James jumped as Remus almost shouted in his ear.

"Our compartment's this way," Remus chuckled and gestured to the other end of the hallway. "Padfoot's been eager to see you, as has Wormtail."

"Oh," James said and forced a grin. He really had just wanted to be alone right now, but he couldn't ditch Padfoot. On the way there, Remus kept asking him questions, but James just nodded or shook his head. He didn't trust himself to speak. When they finally got to the compartment, James was met by a very hyper seventeen year old.

"PRONGSIE!" Sirius almost tackled James in a big old bear hug.

"I missed you too Sirius," James gasped, "but right now I miss breathing!"

Sirius let him go and caught Remus' eye. James noticed it but didn't give it a second thought. Peter chuckled at Sirius' antics.

"How much sugar has he had?" James asked Peter.

"None, I think it might be caffeine," Peter explained.

"Either that or he's insane," Remus muttered sitting back down.

"So Jamesie," Sirius said with a smirk. "Where are the gorgeous Potter girls? They've got to be somewhere on this train."

James felt his heart stick in his throat. He wasn't ready for them to know. He'd been denying it himself for the past two months. To tell his friends would mean admitting it aloud and he just wasn't ready.

"Amy's sick," James said in what he hoped to be a normal voice. "So's Katyln. Mum said that they won't be able to come back to school for six months."

"Ooh that stinks," Sirius winced in sympathy. "What do they got?"

"Dragon Pox," James said. It was the first thing that he could think of but luckily Padfoot didn't press the matter. The whole attack had been kept out of the papers as long as possible. Dianna (the head Auror) was as good as her word. A week after the bodies were taken away, they were all buried at Yewwood Cemetery and he had yet to see anything in the press.

"Congrats," Sirius said startling James out of his thoughts. "I knew you'd get that."

He was pointing to the Quidditch Captain badge that was on James' chest, but then Sirius' eyes fell on the gleaming badge next to it with the initials H.B.

"What?" Sirius gasped and quick as a flash, had taken the badge off of James and was examining it.

"How?" Peter asked. "Remus was the best academically."

"But the worst Prefect," Remus said shaking his head. "James was the next in line if there were to be two Gryffindor Heads."

James snatched it back from Sirius, who was smirking. He wasn't in the mood to be made fun of right now. A few hours later, the sky had grown dark and the train pulled in to Hogsmeade Station.

"Welcome back," Sirius grinned and nudged James. James felt that familiar lump build and was thankful he had to tie his shoe. Katyln should have been the one to do that with Amy. Pam and Pat should have had the opportunity to do that.

"Potter!" Lily's voice cried out just as James was to get into a carriage. "The Head Boy and Girl have their own carriage."

She made a face as she said this, showing her dislike for the situation. James shrugged and ignored Sirius, who was waggling his eyebrows suggestively. As he walked to the carriage Lily was standing by, he stopped dead. There was a almost skeleton horse pulling the thing. Why though? The carriages always pulled themselves before.

_Stop it,_ he scolded. _You're being mental!_

He ignored the skeleton horse and climbed into the carriage with Lily. The ride was spent in silence, for which James was thankful for. It kept him from having to lie once more about his sisters (the only Potters at Hogwarts that Lily cared for). As the view of Hogwarts became clearer, James smiled a true smile for the first time in two months. He was back at Hogwarts.

A/N: Please review!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

James sat down on his bed, thankful that he had avoided any questions from his friends. Frank Longbottom had asked about Katyln and Amy, but that was about it. It was odd, being in a silent room. Lily had her own room, and they shared a bathroom. Sighing, James set his head on his pillow and hoped that he wouldn't sleep.

"**Avada Kedavra!" The death eater cried and James watched as Pam's life was drained out of her. Then the scene changed. He was in a graveyard, in front of his parents' graves. Their ghosts floated up. **

"**James," his father said. "You disgust me." **

"**You left your sisters to fend for themselves," his mother sneered down at him. "You were the best fighter of them. Why didn't you stay together?" **

**Then Katyln's ghost floated next to his parents'. **

"**James," she said in a sad voice. "You killed me. I had to keep Amy and Adam safe. Look what you've done." **

"**Why are you alive?" Amy's small voice asked, full of bitterness. "You don't deserve it." **

James started awake at the sound of his alarm, feeling even more tired than he had been before he fell asleep.

"Well, that was depressing," he muttered and rubbed his eyes. Depressing but true. He should have stayed with his sisters and his cousin. Getting dressed, he once more placed the Head Boy badge on his chest.

"Morning Evans," he nodded to Lily as he walked downstairs.

"Morning Potter," Lily said stiffly. Together, they walked to the Great Hall where they split off once they got to the Gryffindor table; James to the Marauders and Lily to Alice and Marline.

"So James," Sirius smirked. "How's being Head Boy treating you?"

"Shut it," James muttered and just grabbed some toast. After the dream he had, he didn't have the largest of appetites. It had been the same at the feast last night. McGonagall came around just in time and passed out the schedules. James looked and saw that he had Potions, History of Magic and Transfiguration that day. Great, two classes that it might just kill him to not pay attention.

"Mr. Potter," McGonagall said. "Professor Dumbledore would like to see you and Miss. Evans tonight to discuss your Head duties."

"Yes Professor," James nodded and then after taking a bite out of the toast he'd taken, got up and began to walk to Potions. He didn't get far before he was confronted by Sirius.

"What in Merlin's name?" Sirius asked. "We've got a free period right now!"

James looked back to his schedule and true to form, Sirius was right. Potions was after the free period that they had. All and all, Sirius and James both had eight OWLs, Moony had nine and Peter had five. James had elected to take, along with Sirius, all the classes needed to be an Auror. No one knew what Peter wanted to do after Hogwarts, and Remus just said he'd take whatever would take him.

"So Prongs," Sirius smirked as they walked up to the common room. "What do you say to some prank planning?"

James felt his heart sink. He'd not once thought of pranking since the attack.

"Err…yeah, listen Pads," he said trying to come up with an excuse. "I forgot my…Divination textbook in my room. Let me go grab it."

As he left, he couldn't help but hear Sirius mutter "You don't take Divination." He paid it no mind though. Whatever prevented Sirius, Remus or Peter from asking questions. He'd walked only five feet when he came face to face with Madam Hoops.

"When would you like to schedule your tryouts?" she asked. James blinked. He'd not once thought of tryouts.

"Umm, sometime next week I guess," he shrugged. Madam Hoops nodded, turned and left. James sighed and kept walking toward his dorm. Well, he would if he wasn't blocked—this time by Remus.

"Hey James," he said with a smile. "Want to go down by the lake?"

James wondered why his friends didn't want him to stay by himself right now.

"Not really Remus," he said and scooted around him. He walked briskly down the hall, turning into a side corridor when he saw Peter walking his way. By the time Peter left, the bell signaling the end of the free period rang and James rushed to Potions.

"Hello Mr. Potter," Slughorn said with a grin. Sirius walked in after him. Remus had been rubbish at Potions and Peter was a safety hazard to anyone with brains.

"Today…." Slughorn began but James found himself tuning out the overbearing Slytherin head. He was on autopilot, caused by lack of sleep. He wondered how much trouble he'd get in if he nicked some Dreamless sleep from the Hospital wing. The bell rang and James was amazed to find that he'd created a perfect potion—he didn't even know what they were making! As he left, James accidently bumped into Snape.

"Watch it Potter," he growled and made for his wand. Sirius made for his.

"Sorry about that Snape," James said simply and walked away. He knew that there were probably stunned looks on Snape's, Sirius's and Lily's who had walked up the moment James bumped into her former friend. There was no need to attack Snape though. He hadn't been the Death Eater who killed his cousin.

"What was that about?" Sirius demanded as they walked into History of Magic.

"Why are we still taking this class?" James asked after that to try to throw Sirius off the hunt.

"So Remus has a class with us," Sirius said, "and don't avoid the question."

James shrugged and sat down between Sirius and Remus. Binns droned on as usual about Goblin Wars as usual but James tuned him out. Remus had given them Auto-quills for Christmas the last year when it proved fruitless to try to get them to pay attention.

"Honestly what is with you?" Sirius hissed, his own quill zooming across his parchment.

"Nothing," James hissed back.

"You passed up a fight! With Snape!"

Remus's head popped up and he stopped his notes.

"You what?" he hissed. While Remus didn't approve of fights, James passing one up was not something he was used to.

"Why is it such a big deal?" James asked.

"Because it's Snape!"

"Because it's unlike you."

Sirius and Remus had hissed that at the same time. James rolled his eyes and went back to tuning out Binns when the bell rang. James and Sirius had another free period and then it would be on to lunch.

"Seriously mate," Sirius said as they went out to the lake, "you're acting weird."

"I should be; you're Sirius, not me," James said and Sirius groaned at the old pun.

"James, that pun is older than my hag of a mother!"

"Then maybe you shouldn't use it," James shot back. They chuckled as they relaxed under their favorite tree.

"Nicked this from the kitchens," Sirius said tossing something toward James. "Eat it. You ate barely anything at breakfast."

"What are you, my mother?" James forced out a chuckle and looked down at what he'd been tossed. It was a scone, chalk full of blueberries.

"Just eat it," Sirius muttered. James took a bite and choked down the scone.

"Happy?"

"I'm always happy," Sirius shot back. When Sirius wasn't looking, James hid the scone behind a bush. The bell rang just then for lunch. The two boys walked into the Great Hall and James pretended to eat to avoid the watchful eye of Sirius. He could be a worrywart when he wanted to. They walked to Transfiguration where James was able to pay attention for the first time all day. Maybe the scone had helped in ways he didn't figure. One thing was for certain, James was the first in silently vanishing his kitten that class earning Gryffindor ten points. Dinner was boring as Peter prattled on and on about something James could care less about.

"Potter," Lily said. "It's time for us to go to our meeting with the Headmaster."

James got up, nodded to his friends, and walked out with Lily. When they got to the statue, Lily stopped.

"I don't know the password," she flushed. James chuckled.

"Sherbert Lemon," he said and the statue moved.

"How did you know?" Lily asked.

"It's always that this time of year," James explained. When they reached the door, James reached out and knocked five times.

"Enter."

A/N: So how was it? Good, bad, boring? Please tell me in a review!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

James and Lily entered the office slowly, in case the headmaster was still finishing up work or something. Lily looked on in amazement; she had never been in the headmaster's office before. James though was used to all the doodads, and so sat at the offered seat.

"Please sit Miss Evans," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. Lily scrambled to sit down and shot a glare at James, who smirked.

"You wanted to see us sir?" Lily asked. Dumbledore nodded. James thought that he just wanted to make sure his two Heads didn't kill one another just yet.

"Yes. It is the Head Boy and Girl's duty to plan out Hogsmeade trips. I would like your opinion on the date of the first one."

James thought for a minute. The first Quidditch game of the year was November 13 (Gryffindor vs. Slytherin). He'd rather Hogsmeade be after that, so his team would be focused on the game.

"Would November 24th work?" he asked and Lily looked at him in shock. The first trip was always on Halloween.

"Miss. Evans, do you object?" Dumbledore asked. Lily shook her head and Dumbledore smiled.

"Excellent. Well that was all I needed. James, if you could stay here a minute?"

James, who was about to leave with Lily, stopped and returned to his seat. Lily shot him a filthy look. What had he done? After Lily left, Dumbledore looked at James with a grave look.

"James, I was informed about the attack on Potter Manor in June," he said. James felt his stomach sink into his legs. He did not want to talk about that.

"Oh."

Dumbledore must have seen something in his eyes, for he said, "Dianna Phelps informed me. She felt I would need to know about the death of two Order members."

James's head shot up. His parents were in the Order? He'd been dreaming about joining since he heard about it while under the Cloak his fifth year.

"I was the only one, so you needn't worry about her trust."

_How does he know these things? _James thought. He was just thinking that very thought.

"Have you told anyone?" Dumbledore asked. James shook his head.

"I don't want to. I don't want their pity," James muttered softly. Dumbledore sighed.

"Very well, it is your choice. However, you will need your friends sooner or later and I think it would be a very vexing challenge to keep this from them. Especially Mr. Black."

James chuckled at that. Sirius really did hate mysteries.

"Is that all Professor?" James asked. Dumbledore nodded. James got up and left the office. As he walked down the hall to get to his dorm, there was one thought that filled his mind: he would never tell. The only way Sirius would find out is if he figured it out.

00000000000000000000

The week flew by, and soon it was time for Quidditch tryouts. James was a Chaser, so that was one spot that was not needed. But he still needed two chasers, a keeper, two beaters and a seeker.

"Alright!" he shouted to the 20 people who had come. Merlin, he hoped there were six people who could lead them to victory. "Chasers!"

Apparently, his luck sucked. The first group couldn't even stay on their brooms; and the others were just as poor. Finally, he found a third year by the name of Amy Pratt, who was speedy on a broom, and a sixth year by the name of Will Smith, who scored seventeen goals.

"Beaters!" James called after convincing the people who didn't get it to leave. There was no contest. Sirius and Frank were the best choices hands down. No one could accuse him of favoring his friends after seeing one of the choices hitting himself with the bat.

"Keepers!"

Adam Patil was the only choice. He never let in a goal, and he was as fanatic about the sport as James was. Regrettably he was a Seventh year, but so was James so he had no complaints. Happy about how the tryouts went off without a hitch, James hopped on his broom to fly around for a bit.

"JAMES!" he heard Sirius cry and then it all went dark.

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Groaning, James woke up in a bright white room.

"Oh good," Madam Pomphrey said bustling over to him. "You're up. I was thinking there had been more damage than what was detected."

"How long was I out?" James asked, taking one of the many potions that he was handed.

"Five days," Pomphrey said. "I had to force Mr. Black out after the third day."

As if summoned, Sirius ran in through the doors.

"Mr. Black!" Pomphrey scolded.

"Sorry," Sirius said with a small smile that made the matron roll her eyes and shake her head. "James! You're up!"

"What hit me?" James asked rubbing his head.

"One of the Blugders," Sirius said. "We'd missed it when putting them away."

"How could you miss it?"James asked. "It's a black ball that likes knocking people off brooms!"

"Sorry mate," Sirius said and James sighed. He just couldn't stay mad at Padfoot.

After some tests and potions, James was declared healthy and could leave, which he did with gusto.

"Remus has all the work you missed," Sirius said. James made a face, which unknown to him, made Sirius relax. He'd been worried for his friend lately. "You hungry?"

"No, I feel really full," James said in surprise. Sirius smirked; he'd asked Pomphrey to slip James some nutrient potions while he was unconscious. He needed to eat, and he just wasn't lately. They walked into the Common Room for James to collect his needed work.

"Hey Prongs!" Remus smiled in relief. "Here's your work. It's not too much. DADA-one two foot essay on Boggarts (they were reviewing to their relief), Transfiguration-practice vanishing charms, History of Magic-two foot essay on the Goblin Wars of 1812, Charms-conjuring charms practice and…"

"…Potions is nothing," Sirius said. "Sluggy wanted to be nice."

James saw all the work and sighed. He decided to just dive right into it. Otherwise it would just pile up, and that was something he did not need. He still had some paperwork to file for his Head of Potter Household thingy.

"Thanks Remus," James smiled. "I'll go and start. You want to go to the library?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged glances. "Umm, no thanks Prongs. I've finished with all that. You want to borrow my notes?"

"Nah, I'll just look it up." James shook his head and gathered up his stuff. Nodding to his friends, he began to walk down to the Library. On his way there, he saw two fourth years bullying a second year.

"Oi!" James cried. "What's going on here?"

"None of your business," one of the boys sneered. The young second year girl looked relieved to see James.

"It is my business, I'm Head Boy," James said pointing to his badge. "So what's going on?"

"We're just teaching this mudblood a few things about Hogwarts," the second boy said.

"Five points from Slytherin," James said, noticing what house they were from for the first time. "Slughorn will hear about this."

"Like he'll do anything," the first boy sneered.

"No. But Professor Dumbledore will," James shot back and the two boys scoffed. Luckily, they left before James had to get out his wand.

"Thank you," the second year said.

"No problem," James said. "What's your name?"

"Melanie," she said. "I'm in Hufflepuff. I was heading to the Library when they stopped me."

"Well Melanie," James said. "I'm on my way to the Library too. Would you care for an escort?"

Melanie smiled and nodded. They walked together, James though feeling a pang every time he looked at her. She looked just like his cousin Pam that it was almost like she was back from the dead.

"Thank you," she said again as they entered the library. James nodded and sat down at a nearby table. He tore through the essays at lightning speed. They probably weren't very good, but at least he had something to turn in to the Professors. After that, he packed up his stuff and made his way to Slughorn's office. On the way he stopped by each of his teachers' offices to turn in his missed work.

"Professor?" James said sticking his head into the office.

"Enter my boy!" Slughorn said with a jolly voice. James never really liked him as Slughorn thought Remus would never become something in life and therefore would never give him the time of day.

"Sir," James began, "I found two fourth year Slytherins bullying a muggleborn second year from Hufflepuff. I took off five points, but I did not assign a punishment feeling that that was meant for the head of house."

"Ah, don't worry." Slughorn said nodding his head. "I know just who the boys are and believe me, they will get detention. Filch, Friday night. Does that sound fair?"

James nodded. Anything with Filch was more than enough of a punishment.

"Sir?" James asked. "Was there any homework while I was out? Sirius said there wasn't but…"

"There wasn't," Slughorn nodded. "You Seventh years are always swamped. I thought maybe this might be a nice treat. You are only in September after all."

James nodded and made his way back to…he had no clue where he was going now. He'd finished all needed homework, he had made his Quidditch team, he stopped two bullies…what to do now?

"Potter!" Lily cried and James jumped and almost had his wand out when he saw who it was.

"Evans, don't sneak up on people!" he cried. Lily huffed.

"Why are there five points missing from Slytherin? You better not have—"

"I found two Slytherin fourth years bullying a Hufflepuff muggleborn second year. They called her the M-word as well. That's why the points are missing." James said coolly and turned to leave. He stopped and turned back. "Oh, and Evans? I already told Slughorn."

He turned on his heal and left. Maybe it was his pent up grief that was causing him to feel this way, but Evans was annoying him to no end. If she could just trust him for once!

"Walruspuss!" he snapped at the Fat Lady, who huffed but let him in.

_Walruspuss_? He thought as he re-entered the Common Room. _Who came up with that?_

"James!" Remus cried. "Done already?"

"Yep," James nodded and plopped on one of the sofas. Sirius and Remus looked at him in shock, but he didn't notice. James had already fallen asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

**The faces of his family floated around, glaring down at him. Jamie kept making snide remarks, though James could not hear them. Paul was just glaring and little Adam just kept saying, "Why?" It was that that broke James's heart. Then he came face to face with that death eater. **

"**Say goodbye," he sneered and cast the spell that would end his life**

James started awake, confused and disoriented for a minute. He wasn't dead; instead he was on a couch in the Common Room. By the looks of it, Sirius or Remus had covered him with a blanket before going to bed.

"Bugger this," James muttered and got up. He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand and sighed. Those two were not making it easy to keep it from them. Peter, at least, was as oblivious as expected. He walked out of the Common Room, for once, without the cloak. He was Head Boy after all. He could just claim he was making rounds.

"What's this?" he asked himself when he came across a room that he had never seen before. It was like the door had magically appeared. He opened it and was amazed to find a full on battle arena. He'd been thinking about that duel he had with the Death Eater after Pam had been killed and thought he should get some practice. That way, no one could catch him by surprise again.

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The weeks passed by and were not treating James kindly. The teachers kept assigning more and more school work, he had Head Boys duties to perform with Lily (who he was avoiding ever since their argument) and he had Quidditch practice. Not to mention the extra DADA he was doing on his own.

"James, can you believe that it's already Halloween?" Sirius said with excitement. James made a non-committal shrug and went back to his History of Magic essay therefore missing Sirius's frown.

"James, you've been at that essay for an hour now. Binns won't care," Sirius tried another tactic. "We haven't pranked anyone in a month. You know what they're saying? They're saying that we've lost our edge!"

James snorted and rolled his eyes. On the whole, he honestly could care less about pulling pranks right now.

"Why don't you ask Remus?" James asked while looking something up.

"Because he's too busy doing extra work!"

"You could always do your homework Pads," Remus said walking into the library. He'd left when James had started his Transfiguration essay to talk to McGonagall about something.

"Never!"

"Will you keep it down Padfoot!" James hissed. He had a slight headache and his best friend was not making it any easier. He was also feeling sick to his stomach, his nose was plugged up and his throat was so sore; it felt like someone was sticking a rusty poker down it. Remus nodded; he too was looking ragged and James was wondering when the full moon was. It had to be close.

"Remus, you okay?" James whispered. Remus nodded.

"Yeah. I'd wager the moon'll be full in three days, four tops." Remus said. James wondered if he'd be able to transform or if he'd have Head Boy duties to do that night. Meh, he'd foist them off on Lily. Remus was his friend; he had to be there for him.

"Done!" James declared and got up. As soon as he did, the ground started to move and he sat back down. "Err, I think I'll just…"

"…go to the Hospital Wing," Remus finished looking worried. "What was that?"

"Err, nothing. I'm just a bit…" James said searching for a word that both his friends would believe.

"A bit what, James?" Sirius asked.

"Hey is that Marico Krum? Greatest Chaser to come to the Bulgarian Lions?" James pointed and Sirius turned and almost ran where James was pointing. Remus ran after him to drag him back. By the time he was able to do that, James had packed up his stuff and left under the Cloak.

_I can't believe he bought that!_ James thought while going up to the Head Dorms. He took off the Cloak before he entered. Lily was up there reading a book when he entered, and James almost considered leaving to go somewhere else. Unfortunately his body had other ideas.

"Potter!" Lily cried seeing James sway on the spot dangerously. She rushed up just in time to catch him just as James's knees buckled.

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James woke up, once more in the Hospital wing. Only this time, Lily was staring at him instead of the nurse.

"Are you alright Potter?" she asked concerned. James wondered just what happened. Madam Pomphrey came up.

"Doing something dangerous I presume?" she said taking a couple of tests. James shot Lily a look.

_Do _not_ tell her I passed out. I'll never leave! _

Lily looked amused by the look on James's face so she said, "I found him on the sofa. He wasn't getting up so I dragged him down here."

"Well it's a good thing you did. Potter, when was the last time you slept?"

Lily looked alarmed at that.

_Wait, it's Potter. He's probably off pranking someone in the dead of night or something. _

_ But the marauders haven't pranked anyone in a month! _

_ Maybe they're just planning a whopper of a prank. _

_ I don't think so. Ja—Potter looked exhausted that first day and he went straight to bed after rounds. _

Lily's internal argument did not prevent her from hearing James's answer.

"Last night," James said. "Sirius and Remus can attest to that."

"So that's where you were!" Lily said surprised. "You never came back to the dorms that night."

"Nice to know you care Evans," James muttered.

"I don't Potter," Lily snapped back. Pomphrey clucked her tongue impatiently.

"Well you need to sleep more, along with eating more. You're looking much too thin to be healthy."

James flushed a little and glowered. He was eating just the right amount, thank you! Sirius and Remus rushed in just then.

"James! Are you alright?" Sirius panted. James raised an eyebrow. He had the map; how did they know where he was?

"Lily told us," Remus said simply and James glowered at her. He was capable of taking care of himself!

"Well Potter, I hate to release you just now but there is nothing else I can do. You'll have to fight this bug off by yourself," the nurse said and James hopped out of bed. Thankfully the ground stayed where it was supposed to and he stalked off, leaving Lily, Sirius and Remus scrambling behind him.

"James, wait up!" Sirius panted. "You can't possibly be upset that Evans told us can you?"

_Yes I can! Since when is it her job to take care of me?_

James turned off into a corridor that made a U-turn through to the Kitchens, something only he knew about. He found it while doing rounds one night and knew it wasn't on the map.

"Think you can lose us that easily?" Remus raised an eyebrow and James jumped to see that they were in front of him.

"Merlin Moony! Don't do that!" James said. He had almost drawn his wand again on someone he knew was no threat to him. Remus just looked on coolly.

"James, we're worried about you. Well, I don't know about Evans but Moony and I are," Sirius said. "You haven't pranked anyone all year, you're tied with Remus for number one boy in our year _and_ you passed up five fights with Snape of all people!"

James rolled his eyes. Of course it would be things like that that would make Sirius worry about him.

"I'm _fine_ Pads," James said. "Besides, the year's only a month over."

"Yeah right. If you're so fine, then prank someone."

James had to act fast. He actually wondered if Sirius would believe the same thing twice.

"Look! Snape!" James pointed and surprisingly Snape was there. Sirius turned and Remus and Lily followed him to keep him from pranking or fighting with the other boy. When they finally dragged him back, James was gone again.

"Someone needs to get a tracker for that boy," Sirius muttered. "He moves so fast it's like he apperates."

"You can't apperate or disapperate within Hogwarts," both Lily and Remus said at the same time. Sirius rolled his eyes at that.

"Yeah, well you have to admit something odd has been going on with him," he pointed out.

"Odd how?" Lily, despite her better nature, asked. She originally thought that anything that got James to stop pranking was a good thing but now she wasn't sure. He looked miserable.

"One, he's not pranking anymore," Sirius said. "And I mean he almost looks ill at the thought of it. Two, he's passed up several fights with Snape and three; he's spending hours on his school work. I think the only times I've seen him out of the library would be for Quidditch practice and classes."

"You have a point Pads," Remus nodded ignoring the comment about fighting with Snape.

"Well come on!" Sirius said. "Let's see where he was going!"

The three of them made their way to the Head Dorms, only because that was the first thing that they could think of. The pitch and the kitchens were too obvious, which would make James avoid them.

"Equality," Lily said firmly and their portrait guard nodded with a small smile.

"Better than Walruspuss," Sirius noted and Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Don't ask," Remus told her. The common room was quiet as they walked through.

"James must be sleeping," Sirius said frowning. "Either that or doing something in his room. Remus, you and I'll go up there."

"Why?"

"Cause we're blokes." Sirius said simply and Lily had to agree that was a better idea. James was more likely to tell Sirius what was bothering him than he was her. After a few minutes, she heard Remus call for her.

"What is it?" she whispered as she raced up the stairs. There she saw a disturbing sight. James was thrashing around, moaning though she couldn't hear a thing. Sirius was trying to wake him up.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed from the door. One of James's hands smacked Sirius right across the face and he fell down. Crawling over to the door, Sirius rubbed his cheek.

"Merlin that hurt," he whispered. It was then that James started awake. He sat up in bed panting and sweating. He ran his hand through his hair several times and looked up. When he saw Sirius, Remus and Lily standing in the doorway, he simply got up and went into the bathroom without saying a word.

"What was that about?" Sirius turned to Lily and Remus.

"I don't know," Remus said frowning.

"But we're going to find out," Lily said firmly. Potter may be a git and a prat, but something was bothering him so deeply that his health was being affected.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Sirius asked. "Operation: find out what's wrong with Prongs is a go!"


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

James was counting down the days until November 13th. That was the first game of the season between Gryffindor and Slytherin. He was scheduling practices every day now, which caused him to work on his homework in the early morning hours. Something that was actually alright with him.

"Prongs!" Sirius griped after a grueling practice the day before the game. "The game is tomorrow! Give us a break!"

The rest of the team looked mutinous so James nodded his consent to end practice early. Then he stared at the calendar in surprise. Was it really November 12th? It seemed that the attack on Potter Manor was a lifetime ago and yet he was successful in keeping it a secret from Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail. The full moon had been bad, for him that is. Moony was a little more joyful than he usually was. The result was three long gashes on his back, bruises near his ribs and a bite mark on his ankle.

"Potter!" Lily gave him a small smile when he entered the dorms. James frowned; what was up with her? She was being somewhat nice to him.

"Evans," James nodded to her. He ran up the stairs to take a shower. As he felt the steam hit his tired muscles, he thought of his team. They were ready, that he knew. His seeker especially never missed the Snitch so far, which was amazing in its own right. Sirius and Frank were unstoppable, and Patil never let in a goal.

"Potter!" Lily cried. "You've been in there for an hour!"

So he had. James got out and slipped into something comfortable. Towel drying his hair, he walked back down stairs where Lily was looking at him with some concern.

"So are you ready for the game?" she asked. James nodded but didn't say anything. When the hour hit nine, James got up and went up to his room. Little did anyone know that he nicked some Dreamless Sleep the last time he was in the Hospital wing. He would get some sleep tonight. He had to.

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The next morning saw the Gryffindor Quidditch team down at breakfast early. Everyone was surprised to see James actually smiling and looking alive. The Dreamless Sleep actually worked.

"Team, it's time," he said after managing to get something down. Everyone applauded them as they went down to the locker room. James wasn't sure what he could say to movitate them and then it hit them.

"Team, one thing," he said. "If we lose, you will be practicing from dawn till dusk for three weeks."

The look on his face showed that the treat was real. The team nodded and they left the locker room to meet their opponent.

"And it's Potter, Pratt, Smith, Black, Longbottom, Patil, and Graham!" Remus called from his commentator booth. "Potter seems to have gathered a great team, seeing as he had to rebuild it this year. Here comes the Slytherin team."

The names of the players were drowned out by the boos and hisses of the rest of the school. James walked into the middle of the pitch to shake Regulus Black's hand.

"The bludgers are released followed by the Golden Snitch. The Quaffle is up, and the game begins!"

James caught the Quaffle as soon as it was thrown up in the air and passed it off to Amy. Remus could be heard commentating but James tuned it out. Amy threw it to Will, who scored.

"Ten-zero, Gryffindor!"

Sirius and Frank were like a nonstop protection detail, sending bludgers off to the Slytherin players with ease.

"Twenty-zero, Gryffindor!"

Amy had managed a goal that the Slytherin keeper should have saved. Daniel Graham was searching like a hawk for the Snitch. James snatched the Quaffle from one of the Slytherin Chasers and scored out right.

"Thirty-zero, Gryffindor! It seems that Potter has made a rather superb team."

The crowd started cheering.

"Go Go Gryffindor! Go Go Gryffindor!"

Goal after goal were made with ease, and Adam was keeping as if he had been doing it all his life.

"Is that the Snitch?" Remus cried but James didn't stop what he was doing. He could still raise the score even while they were searching for the snitch. "GRYFFINDOR WINS!"

James stopped what he was doing. Daniel's hand was indeed clutched around that struggling golden ball.

"Final score: Two hundred to Thirty."

It seemed Adam had let in three goals when the snakes started playing dirty but who could blame him? James was just amazed that they'd won.

"Party in the Common Room!" Sirius called. "Come on!"

James nodded, but he made his way to the locker room to clear up.

"Oh no you don't!" Frank, Adam and Sirius dragged him away. "Let Hoops worry about that. It's your job captain to just have fun tonight."

James protested all the while, but his pleas fell on deaf ears. The Common Room was full of Gyffindors for the party. When the team entered the room, they burst into applause. Even Lily was smiling. The party seemed to go on to all hours of the night. James escaped from it around ten under the pretense of rounds.

"Not like you to avoid the spot light," Lily said once James made it back to the Head Dorms.

"Yeah, well. Just tired is all," James gave her a weak attempt of his winning smile. Lily didn't buy it for a minute. "Night Evans."

He had enough of the Dreamless Sleep to last him three days. He'd take a dose tonight and then not take it the next night.

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The glee from the game lasted up till the weekend of the Hogsmeade trip. But as soon as James turned around, November 23rd was staring him in the face.

"Lily, will you—"

"No I will not go to Hogsmeade with you Potter!"

"I was just going to ask if you would move so I could get a book," James said slightly hurt.

"Oh," Lily said shocked.

"Besides, Dumbledore said that the Heads have to go in to the village together. Something about protection," James shrugged. "Sorry if that ruins your plans."

He left after getting his book, leaving a very confused redhead behind. Remus came out from behind the bookshelf.

"Something is extremely wrong with that boy," he said and Sirius (who had followed him) nodded.

The next day, James and Lily walked down to the village. They had portkeys that Dumbledore had made, in case of attack.

"Potter," Lily said after two hours of peace. "You don't have to stay by my side."

A crash outside followed that statement.

"You really need to think before you speak," James told her lightly and then raced outside. The village was burning and Death Eaters were on the move.

"Evans! Gather any third through fifth years you find!"

"What about you?" Lily called as James ran into the fracas. He didn't answer; he just focused on casting spell after spell. One Death Eater had captured an eight year old girl and was taunting her.

"Hey buddy!" James cried and didn't even bother with magic. He just landed a punch straight to the nose. "Pick on someone your own size."

The girl had taken that time to run, something James was thankful for. He did not need another Pam on his hands. Some third years were crying in an ally that James had stumbled upon. They weren't hurt, so James gave them one of the portkeys back to the school.

"Potter!" one of the Death Eaters sneered and James was whisked back to the attack on Potter Manor. This was the one who had killed his cousin.

"Scum," he sneered back. He tried to keep his head; last time he was angry and that might have been what cost him the duel. He threw a stunner at the Death Eater, who blocked it.

The Death Eater chuckled. "Didn't Mummy ever tell you it's not nice to call others names?"

Out of the corner of his eye, James could see others watching. _Idiots_, he thought. _How hard is it to run? _

"Didn't Mummy ever tell you that it's rude to kill people?" James shot back. Suddenly, an extreme pain shot through his body, like white hot knives.

"Bella!" the Death Eater hissed and James growled.

"Does widdle Potter miss his family?" Bellatrix taunted.

"Do you miss your sanity?" James gasped and he was hit with the curse again. When it was released, James said, "Finished?"

Not even waiting for an answer, James kicked out his legs and knocked Bella off of her feet. He was in extreme pain but there was no time for that.

"Why you little—!"

Suddenly, both death eaters seemed to freeze.

"Master!" Bella gasped. James would have groaned if he had the strength. He turned around and there in all his snaky creepiness was Voldemort.

"Ah Potter," Voldemort gasped and grinned a little. James stood proud. He was not afraid of that mad man. Voldemort threw a spell that James ducked, and James threw a spell or two back. He knew that there was little time before the Killing Curse was thrown out but he had to keep Voldemort's attention off of the other students.

"Tom!" a voice cried out and both duelists looked. There stood Dumbledore in all his glory.

"Ah, come to watch me kill one of your students Dumbledore?"

"We both know you are more than able to do so but it makes one wonder why you haven't yet."

'Tom' hissed and narrowed his eyes.

"The Aurors are on their way Tom," Dumbledore said. Suddenly there was a huge explosion and then James knew no more.

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James woke up, once more, in the Hospital Wing.

"You've got to be kidding me?" he groaned and sat up. There were several students there being treated for exposure to the Cruciatus curse.

"Frank?" he asked upon seeing his beater along with Alice Prewett.

"Couldn't let you have all the fun," Franks smirked. "When you went out in there, Alice and I followed."

"Thanks," James said. Alice shuddered.

"We saw him James. Right before he left. He was creepy looking."

"We didn't duel him though. Not like you," Frank shook his head. "We just shot mere spells at him before that bitch of a witch took over."

"Bellatrix," Alice explained and then the conversation ended as Sirius and Remus rushed in.

"James!"

Lily followed them at a slower pace.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine," James replied although that was far from the truth. Sirius rolled his eyes. There was no way he believed him. "How are you Lily?"

"I'm alright," she said but the way she said it told James that he wasn't the only one not being totally honest about his health.

"There's an Auror that wants to talk to you," Remus said. "Dianna Phelps?"

James smiled a little at the mention of Dianna's name. Getting up, he was forced back down by both Sirius and Remus.

"Mate, you got hit twice with the Cruciatus and were knocked out for several hours. She said she'd wait till you got better."

"But I'm _fine!_" James hissed and forced himself up. He walked over to the nurse's office, where Dianna was waiting.

"James! How are you?" she said as James shut the door. "How are you holding up?"

James shrugged. "I've been better," he said. "Having a hard time sleeping so I nicked some Dreamless Sleep."

Dianna frowned. "Have you told your friends?" she asked, not mentioning that Dreamless Sleep was addicting if taken for long periods of time.

James raised an eyebrow. Dianna huffed. "Like Father, like Son. Your father would never tell anyone of us if he was in pain or not."

James smirked.

"Skeeter's on a rampage," Dianna said. "We need to release that information about the attack over the summer soon or she will."

"After Christmas," James insisted. "And give it to the Quibbler."

"Why?" Dianna asked.

"Because I don't trust the Prophet as far as I can throw it," James said with finality.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

A/n: I OWN NOTHING!

James couldn't believe that the winter holidays were upon them already. He planned to just go back to the manor and spend the holidays with the house elves. Maybe go into Muggle London a bit, just for grins. The train ride home was about the same as the train ride there in September. He was the quiet one while the other three boys were loud in comparison.

"Master James!" some of the House elves cheered when he returned. James smiled at them and went to his room. The manor had been cleaned since the attack but it was still eerie to be in it.

"I'm going into Muggle London," he told the elves. "If anyone calls, tell them that. If it's Sirius, tell him to bugger off."

"Yes Master James!"

He apperated into Diagon Ally and then went into Muggle London through the Leaky Cauldron. Thank Merlin his mum had taken Muggle Studies. He looked like he'd lived there his entire life. He walked around, finally stopping off in a pub.

_ What would you think if I sang out of tune,  
would you stand up and walk out on me?  
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,  
and I'll try not to sing out of key._

James tried not to listen to the music as he ordered something to drink. He luckily had a muggle id that listed him as eighteen so he was able to buy a beer. It had been his Dad's idea in case he was ever lost in the Muggle world. They got a new one every year-making sure to list him as a year older than he really was.

_ Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.  
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.  
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends._

Even the muggle music was telling him to rely on his friends. Merlin, would the outside influences ever just let him live his life the way he wanted?

"Potter?" a familiar voice called and James turned around to see Lily and what appeared to be her family.

"What are you doing here Evans?" James asked.

"I think I should be asking you that," Lily replied.

The woman she was with smiled. "A friend of your Lily?"

"James Potter ma'am," James introduced himself. "I go to school with your daughter."

The other girl—err woman, sneered. "Another freak?"

"Petunia!" the father scolded. Petunia frowned but quieted down.

"Lily, we're in a dreadful hurry. Petunia needs to go get her dress for her wedding." Mrs. Evans said looking at her watch.

"Lily could wait here with me," James offered. Both parents smiled at him but looked worried.

"Well, I don't know…" Mr. Evans said.

"Dad, I am of age," Lily said in a near whisper. "At least in the magical world I am."

"Alright, we'll only be an hour," Mr. Evans said. "And we're right across the street."

They left and Lily joined James at the bar.

"Thanks for that Potter."

"No problem Evans. Your sister seems…nice."

"Nice is pushing it," Lily snorted and took a drink of her water. James took a swig of his beer. "Why _are_ you here?"

"Got bored, wanted to go see London," James shrugged. "Don't really have a plan for what next."

_ Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.  
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends.  
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends._

The hour seemed to lag on; James didn't want to talk about his family's demise and Lily didn't want to talk about her sister's wedding.

"Ah, you're both still here," Mr. Evans smiled. "Thank you for watching out for her James."

"No need to thank me," James said. "Besides, Lily doesn't need protection."

Lily shot him a surprised but thankful look.

"Dad," Lily said. "Would it be alright if James had dinner with us?"

James was surprised; he didn't think she knew his first name.

"I think he might have plans Lils," Mr. Evans said. "Do you James?"

James shook his head. "No sir. But I don't want to impose."

"Nonsense!" Mr. Evans cried. "A friend of Lily's is a friend of ours!"

James grinned and hopped off his stool. Mr. Evans paid for his drink and they left for Number Twelve, Privet Drive.

"Your house is lovely," James said as they pulled in. After entering the house, Lily smiled at the wonder James showed seeing all of the normal things in the house.

"Wicked!" he gasped after seeing a light turn on.

Dinner went by without a hitch, well if one didn't count Petunia's fiancé coming over last minute right before dessert.

"I told him he could Mark," Mrs. Evans said. "Vernon, do join us."

James and Vernon looked at each other as if sizing each other up. Mrs. Evans went up to serve desert. Suddenly, there was a crash.

"Goodness!" Mrs. Evans cried.

James tensed and looked over at Lily.

"Is there a—"

"Basement," Lily mouthed. They both pulled out their wands, causing Vernon to look at them in alarm. Petunia began hissing in his ear.

"Lily, what is going on?" Mr. Evans asked but was pulled down by James. A beam of green light flew over their heads.

"Death Eaters!" James cried. "Get down!"

James and Lily fired spell after spell. Somehow, Lily had gotten Petunia and Vernon down to the basement with minimal fuss. James suspected that she had stunned them but he wasn't sure.

Well, we meet again Potter!"

"You must be stalking me," James said calmly to the Death Eater. They dueled.

"You'll only lose again Potter," the Death Eater sneered and James ducked just as a bolt of green light went over his head. He prayed Lily and her parents were safe.

"Stupefy!" Lily cried from the kitchen. Together, they seemed to be the perfect team. Always planning what the other would do without saying a word.

"Protego!" James roared just as the Death Eater was about to shoot a stunner straight to his head. Lily gasped and James looked right at the Death Eater. Somehow in the ruckus, he had lost his mask.

"Regulus?" James mouthed. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that his best mate's brother was the reason his eight year old cousin was dead.

"Black!" another Death Eater called and, after throwing a throw-back curse at the pair, Regulus left.

"Are you alright?" James asked, mentally cursing. He did nothing. He found out who it was and he did nothing.

"I'm fine," Lily said, accepting his hand up. Then she gasped. James turned around to see Mr. and Mrs. Evans dead by the table. Lily began to cry and James put a hand on her shoulder.

"Are the freaks gone?" Petunia sneered. James jumped; he'd forgotten she was in the basement. "Mum?" she asked, a little frightened by Lily's tears. "Dad?"

Her eyes fell on James.

"This is your _entire_ fault!" she screeched. James flinched but stood strong. "If it wasn't for you, Mum and Dad would still be here!"

"Petunia, don't!" Lily cried. "It's not his fault!"

"Shut it freak," Vernon told her. "She's well within her right to blame him." James narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I don't believe she asked for your input," he snapped. "Also, I don't think this is really the time for this."

"Who are _you_ to tell _me_ what to do?" Vernon sneered. James smirked.

"James _Potter _that's who," James said, stressing his last name.

Vernon gasped; James had been told during dinner that Vernon wanted to work at Grunnings. The Potters held fifty five percent of that company's stocks, and James was making plans to buy more after dealing with Vernon.

"A _freak_ telling me and my fiancé what to do?" Petunia yelled. "Fine!"

Petunia stormed out, Vernon following her. Lily sunk to her knees and started crying even harder than she had been earlier. James left the room.

"Affy?"

A small pop and his house elf was in the room.

"Master James called for Affy?"

James sighed. It reminded him too much of what happened after the attack on Potter Manor.

"Please contact Dianna Phelps and the Aurors. Inform them that there has been an attack on a muggle house and that there are two dead."

Affy nodded and left. James returned to see Lily still crying. He ran a hand through his hair. How he wanted to comfort her but how when it was his entire fault? If he hadn't ducked when the Killing Curse had been thrown….

"James?" Dianna's voice echoed from the back yard. There was a greenish glow coming from the outside but James wasn't curious as to what it was. He knew already.

"In here," he called. Lily got up and tried to wipe away as much of her tears as she could.

"Miss. Evans, I am very sorry about this," Dianna said. "Was anyone else here?"

"M-My sis-sister but sh-she's fine. Her fiancé is a-as w-well."

Dianna frowned but figured that the sister wouldn't say anything. Lily was seventeen; if the secret hadn't been spilt before now then it wouldn't be any time soon.

"James?" she asked, concerned. James seemed to be in shock, just staring into space. Lily also looked at him.

"I'm fine," he said shaking his head. The images of the attack on Potter Manor from the past summer came flying to the front of his mind, especially now with the Aurors there.

"James, is there someplace I can get your statement?" Dianna asked.

"F-Front h-hall," Lily said for him. She was trying to be strong, but James knew that inside she was dying. The two walked into the front hall.

"Are you alright?" Dianna asked gently.

"I'm fine," James said roughly. Dianna raised an eyebrow but didn't pursue it.

"Lily'll need a place to stay. In the muggle world, she's not of age." Dianna reminded him.

"She can stay with me," James said.

"Are you sure?" Dianna asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Dianna took a breath and looked straight at James. She threw a paper at him and he caught it.

"That's why."

It was an issue of the Daily Prophet and on the cover said: MINISTRY COVERUP? WHY HAS IT TAKEN SO LONG FOR THE PUBLIC TO LEARN ABOUT THE POTTER MASSACRE? 

It was Skeeter's byline.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

James couldn't stand straight. He sunk to the floor and put his head in his hands. All that hard work, making his friends, his team, _Lily_ believe that nothing was wrong down the drain.

"It's dated today," Dianna said. "We don't know how she got her information but we need to act now."

James sighed.

"Do it," he muttered. "I'm seventeen now anyway. You can't use the minor excuse anymore."

Dianna nodded and put a hand on his shoulder.

"James, if you need anything I'll be here for you. Your father was a dear friend of mine."

James nodded and after checking that everything was in order with Lily's parents, the Aurors left. If this was a dream, it had gone on long enough.

"Lily?" James got up and went to her.

"A-Auror Phelps just told me. Am I really going to live with you?" she asked.

"If you don't mind," James said. "I can always inform a relative for—"

Lily rushed up and hugged him.

"Thank you," she whispered.

James didn't know why he was being thanked. He didn't deserve it. Lily had gone upstairs to pack her trunk, so James waited for her downstairs. He grabbed the edition of the _Prophet _he had dropped and stuck it in his cloak. No need for Lily to find out before she needed to.

"James?" Lily called, her trunk dragging behind her. James fixed a smile onto his face before offering his arm. He wasn't going to expect her to keep calling him James. She was grieving, but she hated him. After an uncomfortable apparition later, they appeared in front of Potter Manor.

"You alright?" James asked. Lily nodded and stared at the house in awe.

"_This _is where you live?" she asked.

"Yep," James said. _Just me and the elves. _"Rest of the family's out right now," he told her hoping that the lie wouldn't be found out.

They walked into the Manor and James called for one of the elves to put Lily's trunk in a guest room.

"Would Mistress Katty's Room work sir?"

James felt as if all the air had been squeezed out of his lungs. Katty had been Katylin's name around the elves and she loved it.

"No," James shook his head. "One of the _guest_ rooms."

Katylin and Amy's rooms, along with his parent's, were off limits in his mind. Lily was still in awe of the manor but was still crying as well.

"Would Master James' Evans like a tour?" another elf asked. James felt himself flush.

"Err, alright," Lily said trying to fix a smile onto her face just as James had done earlier. "Coming James?"

James shook his head. "Nah. Once you've seen the Manor once, you've seen it all."

Lily giggled and James felt glad that he had been able to do that at least. Once they had left, James sat in a chair and poured over the _Prophet _Dianna had given him. It had everything, which meant that Skeeter had a leak in the Auror office.

"James?" Lily called and James jumped. The tour was over that quickly?

"Sorry," he said putting the newspaper down.

"Your house is amazing," she said softly and James nodded not really listening. Lily sat on a sofa and they chatted for a few minutes before Lily drifted off to sleep. James put a blanket over her before going to another sofa and doing the same.

00000000000000000

**Regulus held Pam and Pat in front of him. **

"**Say goodbye," he sneered before killing them. Then he hopped on a broom and left. **

**The scene changed back to the graveyard that seemed to haunt his dreams. **

"**James," his father said. "You really know how to muck things up." **

"**A family torn apart because of you," his mother told him. **

"**Lily will be sure to never give you the time of day now," Amy taunted. **

**The scene changed again. This time he was in Lily's house. **

"**Why?" Mrs. Evans asked. "Why me? Why my husband? Petunia was about to be married and now we'll miss it. It is your entire fault!" **

"JAMES!"

James tossed and turned. Lily couldn't figure out how to wake him up and she was getting worried. Was he having a nightmare over what happened? She had, but why would he?

"James, wake up!"

"MUM!" James yelled starting awake and promptly fell off the couch. Lily went to help him up.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

"Never better," James told her faking a weak attempt of his winning smile. He walked off to the bathroom to wash off the sweat on his brow. Lily noticed a newspaper sitting on the ground and picked it up. The name 'Potter' seemed to bounce off the page.

_A family destroyed; only one survived. _

_By: Rita Skeeter _

_This past summer, a horrible blow was struck to one of the most prominent Light families in the Wizarding World. Harold Potter and his wife, Alexandria, were brutally murdered by Death Eaters as were their two daughters, Katylin and Amy. Also among the dead were Harold's brother Albert, his wife Linda, their children Jamie, Paul and Ross, Alexandria's sister Emma, her mother Gretchen, her bother Aaron and her nieces and nephews, Patrick, Pamela and Adam. _

_But why has it taken so long for the public to be informed? Why did the Aurors deem it necessary to keep us believing that the Potter family was intact? Was it because of the friendship they shared with Auror Potter? Was it out of respect for the only remaining member of that family, a Seventh Year Gryffindor at Hogwarts? _

_Or was it a cover up of their own making? Was there a secret in Auror Potter's past that the Aurors didn't want to be uncovered? Maybe there is, if the massacre has only now come to light. _

Lily stared at the paper for a few minutes. The feeling of grief had gone away only to be replaced by a feeling of guilt and shock. James had been hurting for that long and no one had known? The signs were there that something was different but she didn't imagine that the cause had been something of this nature.

"_James?" Auror Phelps had asked, concerned. James seemed to be in shock, just staring into space. ___

Was he remembering the attack on his family? Was that why he was in shock? She heard noise come from the bathroom and set the paper down. She would ask James about it later.

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_Sirius' place _

Sirius lounged around his flat, grinning ear to ear. He always hated Christmas, well before the Potters let him stay at their Manor. Then his uncle gave him the gold to get his own place.

"Padfoot!" Remus's voice came from the fireplace.

"What is it Moony?" Sirius asked, leaning down. His friend seemed grave.

"Have you seen the Prophet?"

Sirius shook his head and hunted around for it. He wasn't the neatest man in the world so it took a while.

"Do you have the one from today?" Moony asked. Sirius could only nod in shock. The headline jumped out at him like…well he couldn't think of anything at the moment.

"Come through," he said and Remus did so.

"Skeeter's always been full of crap," Sirius said. "She's got to be about this as well."

Remus shook his head. "I don't think so Sirius. Remember how James had changed since we last saw him?"

"That's just due to him being Head Boy!" Sirius fought the tears that were coming to his eyes. The Potters were like a second family to him. He couldn't believe that James was all that was left. He grabbed a handful of Floo powder and threw some into the fire place.

"Potter Manor!" he cried, sticking his head in but he was just thrown out instantly. Remus caught him.

"Prongs must have reset the wards," Sirius said softly, his heart breaking into pieces, "when he became Head of the Family."

Remus stayed by his side as long as he could to comfort his grieving friend.

"Why didn't he tell us?" Sirius asked. "We're the Marauders for crying out loud. If we can't trust each other with our secrets, who can we trust?"

"Maybe he just wasn't ready," Remus suggested but even to him it sounded weak. A distraction by the name of Peter came through the fireplace.

"Guys, did you hear?" he said brushing the ash off his jacket and waving that day's edition of the Prophet.

"Always two seconds behind Pete," Sirius gave a watery chuckle. "Most of Britain must know by now."

"This means," Remus said, "that most of our year and possibly most of Hogwarts know by now."

"James must be in a panic," Peter said softly. He always liked Katylin; even had a bit of a crush on her until he saw what James did to a boy who cheated on her. Let's just say that it involved a permanent shrinking hex and a certain part of a boy's anatomy.

000000000000000

_Back to Potter Manor_

The rest of the vacation went by without a hitch, well unless you count several owls coming and going at all hours of the day not being a hitch.

Lily was treated like a queen by the house elves, but yet she could still be seen crying especially when the elves would decorate the tree.

James was a mess. He had to keep correspondence with the Minister, Dianna, the Headmaster and several other officials. This meant that the few hours of sleep that he did get were cut even shorter.

"Affy," Lily asked, watching James rush around, "is there anything we can do?"

"Affy is afraid that there is not miss. 'Tis part of Master James's duties as Head of the Potter House miss."

"Well, can't he take a break?"

Affy shook his head. "No miss. Not until all the letters are written and sent out miss."

James appeared just then and plopped face first on the couch.

"If another letter appears in the next five minutes," he said, his voice muffled by the cushions, "I will not hesitate to hex the owl bearing it and the elf or person bringing it."

Lily took the opportunity to see James and was shocked by what she saw. His clothes seemed extremely baggy on him and his hands seemed almost bony.

"James," Lily said firmly causing him to look up. She hadn't used that tone of voice since the day term ended, "come on. We're going out."

"Where?" James asked.

"Anywhere," Lily said smiling a little at his confused expression.

James shook his head. "Lily, I'm not going out on a date with you. You're still grieving and I'm not going to take—"

"Finish that sentence and you won't be able to speak," Lily hissed. "You blame yourself don't you?"

It was true that James had been taking pains to avoid spending time with Lily in case she believed her sister and blamed him.

"You are a prat," Lily said shaking her head, "and an idiot if you believe what Petunia said over cold hard fact. If you were a Death Eater, then it would be your fault."

This piece of advice served two purposes. One, it would get James to finally stop avoiding her (which he did very well, Lily had to admit) and two, it might get James to talk about the attack on his family.

James forced a smile onto his face. "You don't have to pretend Lily. I'd rather—"

An owl flew into the room just then, cutting off whatever James was going to say.

"Damn it!" he swore seeing the owl but brightened when he saw that there was only one letter and that it was from Dianna.

_James, _

_The general outcry from the public is huge. Remind me to find some way to arrest Skeeter please. They keep demanding to find out what secrets your father had. _

_There are none, James I assure you. Harold was a great man and a fantastic Auror. Do not believe the tripe that Skeeter is spewing as fact. _

_-Dianna Phelps_

He folded the letter and walked back to his room, thankful for the reason to avoid Lily at the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

James leaned his head on the window of his compartment. He had never hated the winter holidays more. Between the endless letters and the recurring nightmares, James maybe got an hour of sleep a night.

"James?" Lily said softly, looking at him. He shot her a smile, hoping she would buy it.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

Lily pulled out a copy of the Prophet, and James could see his last name in the title. He got up.

"James, I just want to ask—"

"I'm going to go make rounds," James said somewhat roughly. He left the compartment in a rush. The last thing he wanted to do was to talk about the attack, even thought it had been around six months since it happened.

"James!"

James turned around and saw, to his slight horror, Sirius. He was the one person James really didn't want to see. He ducked into a nearby compartment, which luckily was empty. He locked the door and pulled down the shades. He decided to just stay in there for the rest of the trip.

000000000000

James never realized how persistent Lily and Sirius were until now. It was almost like a game of cat and mouse with them; and what was worse: James couldn't avoid them completely.

"Prongs," Sirius said after practice one night. "We need to talk mate."

James was cleaning up the pitch and therefore didn't expect Sirius to be standing there.

"Mate!" he said, after jumping and pulling out his wand. "Cough or something next time."

Sirius was worried about his friend. He didn't seem to be coping well with the decimation of his family at all. Granted, Sirius didn't either when he first heard but Moony and Wormtail helped him through it. But James, James seemed to just be a shell.

"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Sirius motioned to the news clipping he had stored in his bag and had taken out. "Come on mate."

"I don't want to talk about this right now," James muttered and tried to force his way past Sirius.

"Too bad," Sirius stood his ground. "You brushed off Evans, you've avoided me and Remus, Peter is the only one you seem to give the time of day to."

He pushed James on to a bench and pulled up another one.

"We're the Marauders. If we can't trust each other with our secrets, who can we trust?" Sirius said softly, looking straight into his best friend's eyes. The amount of pain that one would expect to see wasn't there. Instead, they were almost empty.

"Funny," James gave a dry laugh. "I don't recall the _Marauders_ coming over during the holidays to see if everything was alright when the story hit."

"The wards were reset," Sirius said. James stood up. If they were just going to blame him, then James didn't need to stay there.

"Sirius, go plan a prank or something," James said. "I'm fine."

Sirius watched James walk off and sighed. How was he going to get it through that thick skull of his that the Marauders were there for him?

0000000000000000

Sirius wasn't the only member of the pranking group that approached James. Remus and Peter had also approached him but to no avail. Lily watched her fellow Head as he struggled through documents.

"What class is that for?" Lily finally asked. "I could help."

"It's not for a class Evans," James said running his hand through his hair. "It's a bill for the Wizigemont. The Potter family holds a seat, and now that they know what happened…"

Lily ignored the use of her last name as this was the first time James had even come close to talking about his family. She was getting slightly better with her grief; she had been too worried about James at first and then being around her friends really helped. She still had nightmares, who wouldn't? But it was easier to not be so depressed.

"What's it on?" Lily asked, going down to sit next to him.

"Whether Squibs should be able to learn how to make potions," James told her. "It'll be shot down of course. Too many old pure blood families are on the bench."

James sighed and set the bill down. He wished that stupid story had never been printed. Dianna was still searching for a way to arrest Skeeter but to no avail.

"James?" Lily said softly but James had fallen asleep. Lily smiled as his head fell on her shoulder but gently got up and covered him with a blanket. She'd had some boys to gather.

00000000000

**Faces floated in and out of his dream. **

"**James," his father's voice called, "you'll never be anything other than a screw up and a prankster." **

"**Was Dumbledore high on Potion's fumes when he made you Head Boy?" his mother taunted. **

"**All James does is get people killed," Amy made a face. Katylin hadn't been in his nightmares in a while. **

**Then Regulus popped up. **

"**Hello Potter," he sneered and pointed his wand at him. **

"James, wake up!" Sirius tried to wake his thrashing friend.

"Sirius, you're just going to get hit again," Remus told him. Peter was peering over his shoulder and Lily had re-entered the room.

"Try this Black," Lily said and handed Sirius a bucket of water.

"Timbuktu!" James yelled as he woke up drenched with water. He saw Sirius's face over his. "Personal space Padfoot. Ever heard of it?"

Sirius chuckled a little. "Timbuktu mate?"

"Nice place," James shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

Seeing the newspaper in Lily's hand, his smile slid off his face. "No. No way."

"James, you have to—"

"I don't have to do anything Moony," James interrupted him. "I'm not talking about that stupid article and I don't' want to."

James turned to leave but found he couldn't.

"Why can't I leave?" he growled.

"Muggle glue on your shoes," Lily said in a soft voice. James merely slid out of his shoes and stormed upstairs. It was none of their concern.

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER!" Sirius's voice could be heard from the stairwell and for a moment James thought it was his father's. He almost ran back to ask his dad what he wanted but then remembered. He sat on his bed and put his head in his hands. What was he to do?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

A/N: I OWN NOTHING!

The next few weeks, James juggled his school work along with his other duties and somehow, his almost stellar grades that he had gotten during the first term had stayed where they were.

"Did you hear mate?" Sirius asked during breakfast one day in February. "There's going to be a Sadie Hawkins dance here at Hogwarts for the seventh years."

James had missed dinner the night before where Dumbledore had made the announcement.

"Girls ask the guys," Remus explained. "So, who do you think Lily's going to ask?"

"Whoever it is, I hope she's happy with him," James said and walked away leaving three confused friends behind.

"Okay, we need to have a talk with that boy and soon," Sirius said and the others nodded.

0000000000000

It just so happened that Lily was the first one to ask someone out of all of Hogwarts.

"James?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, Evans?" James looked up from even more paperwork that he had to sign for his spot on the Wizigemont.

"You know about that dance that's in March right?" Lily asked.

"Who doesn't?"

Lily took a deep breath. She'd been starting to feel something for James over the past few weeks but she wasn't quite sure what it could be.

"I was wondering if you would go to the dance with me?" Lily asked and had to hold in a giggle at James's excited look. He looked so cute.

"Uh, sure…I mean...yeah, great!" James spluttered. He was going against his word to make sure she wouldn't get hurt, but it was a date with Lily!

"Great," Lily smiled and went down to the Library. Or so James thought. Really, she watched as James stared out in space for a few minutes and then jumped up in celebration. It was the happiest she'd seen him all year and there was a small feeling of pleasure that she had been able to do that.

00000000000000000

James's happy mood did not disappear even after a failed night's sleep.

"Either someone got laid or James has a date to the dance," Sirius chuckled. "Let me guess: Evans?"

James nodded and grabbed something to eat. Sirius smiled a little. Granted, he still needed to have a talk with James about his family and his not trusting them with the news but still: you took what life gave you right?

James was so happy that he even cut practice thirty minutes short that night.

"Someone make Lily marry him!" Frank said in the locker room. "That was the best practice we've had all year."

"At least she should be his girlfriend," Adam piped in. "He's not a grumpy git today."

Sirius waited until the locker room cleared before trying to confront James again.

"Mate?" he knocked on the Captain's office door. "Can we talk?"

James turned around and smiled at his friend. "Sure Sirius? What about?"

Sirius pulled out the clipping once more and watched as James's smile slid off his face faster than a Nimbus 1000.

"What part of no way can't you get through that thick skull of yours?" James hissed and made to leave.

"James, please!" Sirius said, holding his friend in the room. "I'm not asking you to spill your secrets. I just want to talk. Mate to mate."

James snorted and ducked under Sirius's arm. Sirius watched his friend storm off again.

000000000000000

The whole team saw the reemergence of James's bad mood and with that knew who to blame.

"Thanks Sirius!" Franks growled after a rather wet practice.

"Glad to know you care about the team," Adam hissed while ringing out his robes.

"Why is it my fault?" Sirius cried.

"Because you were the last one to leave," Amy snapped at him shaking her hair out with a towel. "Fix it!"

With the team's glares on him, Sirius walked to James.

"Mate if you're mad at me, please don't take it out on the team," Sirius said. "Please?"

James sighed. "Sorry mate. Haven't been getting much sleep lately."

_It shows_, Sirius thought. The bags under James's eyes almost looked as though they'd been there his whole life. James walked out to the locker room.

"Sorry you guys about the practice today, but there wasn't much I could do about the weather."

"It's alright, James," Frank said.

"Yeah, we understand," Adam nodded.

_Gits,_ Sirius mentally muttered. He stayed with James and walked out with him when it was time to go back to the dorm.

"So mate," James said, "who are you taking to the dance?"

"Kathy."

"Who?"

"That sixth year Gryffindor, the one with brown hair and the—"

"I get it," James cut him off and shook his head. Taking a short cut, they found Regulus with said sixth year Gryffindor.

"OI!" Sirius shouted.

"Sirius!" Kathy exclaimed in relief and ran to him.

"What's going on?" James asked, the head boy badge still pinned on his chest.

"Nothing, Potter," Regulus spat.

"Didn't look like nothing to me," Sirius growled.

"Sirius, take Kathy up to the Common Room," James said. He didn't want this to turn into a bloodbath after all. Sirius shot James a look that clearly stated _Why are you defending him_ but walked off.

"Wise move, Potter," Regulus sneered. "Wouldn't want him to go the same way as say…mummy and daddy did."

James snapped. All the pent up emotions he'd been holding in boiled over and he didn't know why he did what he did. But the next thing he knew, Regulus was on the ground and his fist was smarting.

"You'll pay for that, Potter!"

"Try me, Black!" James snarled back at him. Picking him up, James slammed Regulus up against the wall. "I've wanted to do this since I found out you were one of the ones at the Manor that day."

"Then ask me what you want to know?" Regulus sneered. "That's what you want after all isn't it? Information?"

"Who killed my sisters?" James growled. "Who ended my parents' lives? I know you know, Black."

"Now why would I tell you?" Regulus smirked. James narrowed his eyes.

"Don't toy with me, Black. Don't forget—"

"You're Head Boy, I know," Regulus rolled his eyes. "By the way head boy, your other half is right behind you."

James dropped Regulus down in a heap and spun around. He was right, Lily was behind him and by the look on her face, she had no clue what they'd been saying.

"James! How—you—I mean?"

"Lily, it's not what you think!" James defended.

"Consider the invitation recalled, Potter," Lily sneered. It was clear to James then that she didn't even see who it was he'd been talking to. Regulus was there the day Death Eaters attacked her house as well.

"Lily!" James called back but she spun on her heel and left. Turning back to Regulus, James saw that the snake had slithered away during the conflict.

_At least you broke his nose_, James thought but even that couldn't provide comfort. Storming up to the Head Dorms', James didn't notice that Lily wasn't there. He didn't care; his whole life now seemed to be a steaming pile of crap. Plopping on his bed, he didn't notice the others in the room until it was too late.

"James," Remus said, "we need to talk, and this time we're not taking no for an answer."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

A/N: I OWN NOTHING BUT THE OC'S (WHO ARE DEAD)

James looked at Remus, Sirius and Peter and just plopped on the bed.

"Did you honestly think we were going to give up?" Sirius asked. "Remember second year when we tried to get Moony to tell his secret?"

James forced a chuckle. Yeah, they were pretty persistent during that time.

"Come on, mate," Sirius knelt down by the bed. Remus and Peter backed off a bit. Actually, they left the room. They both knew that Sirius had the biggest reason to talk to James alone. "Just talk to me."

James turned around, making it so that his back was to Sirius. Sirius sighed. He really didn't want to do this but he had no choice.

"I found this," he said tossing it on James' bed, "at the bottom of your trunk. Thought you'd might want it."

James turned around to see what Sirius was talking about and his heart jumped into his throat when he saw that it was the Potter photo album. Tears began to well in the corners of his eyes.

"Mate, you really think I'm going to give you gruff for crying right now?" Sirius asked. Tears were streaming down his own face.

_No, I've got to be strong! _James thought.

But try as he might, he couldn't stop the flow of tears once the dam burst. He didn't even notice Sirius putting a hand on his shoulder. Finally, he just fell asleep.

"He okay?" Remus asked once Sirius pulled some covers over James.

"No," Sirius shook his head. "Bloody hell, I'm going to find out which of the mindless bastards did this and—"

"No!" Remus said sternly. "James needs you right now, and you won't do any good to him in Azkaban."

Sirius sighed. As usual, Remus was right.

"I just want him to be happy again," Sirius sighed. "To be himself."

"That would require us to actually know what was going on in his brain," Remus said with a small smile.

"I'll stay here with him," Sirius said and the way he said it, there was no option. Remus and Peter left again and Sirius sat down in a chair by James' bed.

0000000000

Lily climbed up the stairs to her dorm. For some reason, she stopped by James' dorm to see if he was alright.

"James?" she whispered. _No, it's Potter,_ she thought. She already had a new date to the dance. But still….

"Shh!" Sirius shushed her. Lily blinked, what was Black doing up there? Both of them walked out and Sirius closed the door.

"What were you doing, Black?" Lily asked as soon as they walked down to the Common Room.

"Trying to get James to open up," Sirius said. "I thought you'd be able to help as well."

"I canceled our—"

"I know," Sirius cut her off, looking serious for the first time since Lily knew him.

"How?"

It had only happened two hours ago, for Merlin's sake!

"Portraits talk," Sirius shrugged. "Evans, let me let you in on a secret. When you finally agreed to a date with him, that was the happiest I'd seen him all year."

"So?" Lily asked. "I'm sure you can make him just as happy doing pranks and bulling other students."

"What makes you think I haven't tried?" Sirius asked. "I've tried everything to make Prongs…well Prongs again. You are the _only_ person who can make him happy right now."

Lily didn't know what to feel. She should hate Potter, for fooling her like he did but she didn't. She remembered the ragged young man who gave her a place to stay after her parents were killed.

_Potter's acting. He's got to be_, a voice in her head scolded her.

"I don't know how much he's paid you to get me to agree to the date again but forget about it Black!" Lily said and stormed off.

000000000000000

James proved to be more depressed than anyone had ever seen him. It seemed that simply talking about the massacre even upset him.

"Mate?" Remus said softly. "It's our turn to go get fitted for dress robes. You know, seeing as Hogsmeade is off limits ever since that Death Eater attack."

James sighed and got up from his homework. Normally, James would be joking around with Sirius. Now he lingered in the back of the group, scanning his eyes for any moving shadows.

"Ah!" the shopkeeper said with a smile. "Mr. Potter!"

James scowled but got up on the stool. He always hated dress robes; thought them pointless.

"Done!"

James blinked. Done already? The fabric was a nice black silk; it almost looked like a Muggle's tux.

00000000000000000000

The month of February went by so fast James honestly thought some outside force was controlling it. Before anyone knew it, it was March, and the night of the dance.

"Sirius, get out of the bathroom!" Remus shouted. James chuckled, startling everyone in the room. No one had heard him chuckle since sixth year!

"So how do I look?" Sirius asked.

"Like a second rate version of James," Peter said dully. He was the only one of the group not attending the dance.

"Gee, thanks Pete," Sirius rolled his eyes. He _was_ wearing dress robes that almost looked like James'. Remus was wearing a pair of light brown dress robes, to match his hair.

"Come on," Remus rolled his eyes and the three of them went down to the Great Hall. Once at the doors, the trio separated.

"There's Kathy," Sirius grinned and went off. Remus looked over at James.

"Go greet Emma," James shook his head. He'd be fine.

The dance seemed to last all night, with no one interested in asking James to dance at all.

"Attention!"

James groaned. Why was Sirius at the mic?

"We have a request! For this dance, you have to dance with someone you didn't come with!"

All the boys—minus James—chuckled. James rolled his eyes. Why was Sirius so enamored with trying to get him back to normal when he was fine?

Everyone scrambled to find someone to dance with. James glanced over the crowd when he saw a vision of beauty.

"Lily?" he gasped. As if she heard him, Lily turned to look at him. Her hair was pulled up into a fancy do, while her emerald green robes went well with her eyes.

"What, Potter?" she asked coldly.

James held out his hand. "May I have the honor?" he asked and Lily flushed a little. James had expected a cold retort, not acceptance!

Going on to the dance floor, James could see Sirius and Frank consorting with the band.

_You're in my arms_

_And all the world is calm_

_The music playing on for only two_

Frank had a good voice. Who knew?

"Potter, you can look at my face," Lily said, amusement in her voice. "I won't hex you if you step on my feet."

James looked up, and smiled a crooked little smile.

_So close together_

_And when I'm with you_

_So close to feeling alive_

Little did the two of them know that every other couple in Hogwarts was watching them enviously.

"Why don't you look at me like that?" Ellen Vane hissed at her boyfriend. They'd broken the rules and danced together but so had everyone else.

That's what Sirius had intended of course.

_A life goes by_

_Romantic dreams will stop_

_So I bid mine goodbye and never knew_

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_

_And now forever I know_

_All that I wanted to hold you_

_So close_

_So close to reaching that famous happy end_

_Almost believing this was not pretend_

Lily looked up into James' eyes when the singing seemed to be closer than she thought. But then she gasped.

_Is that…Potter? _ she thought in amazement.

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

_So far we are so close_

The two of them danced in the middle of the floor in unison, not looking anywhere else but at their dance partners.

_How could I face the faceless days_

_If I should lose you now?_

_We're so close_

_To reaching that famous happy end_

_And almost believing this was not pretend_

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

_So close_

_So close_

_And still so far_

The song ended and James blinked. The crooked little smile he had worn while dancing faded.

"I've got to go," he muttered.

"James," Lily said and James halted. "Stay, please."

James sighed. He honestly didn't want to, but the way Lily was looking at him made him happier than he thought possible.

"Oi!"

James looked up to see John Smith, a Hufflepuff standing over him. Smith was a really big guy, now that he thought about it.

"Yes, Smith?" James asked politely.

"What are you doing with my date?" Smith growled.

"Dancing. I thought I was the one who needed the glasses, not you Smith," James said and everyone chuckled. Sirius smiled; there was the James they all knew and loved

PUNCH!

Everyone gasped to see Smith's fist go smack dab into the face of James Potter.

"Smith!" Lily glared and smacked him right across the face. "Forget about the date!"

"No one says no to John Smith!" the blond sneered.

"I believe she just did," Sirius said in a cold voice. James blinked; where had Sirius come from?

"Screw you, Black!" Smith sneered.

"Is there a problem?" Remus asked; his eyebrow raised as he took in the bruise on James' face and the dark look on Lily's.

"No problem," Lily almost growled. "Smith was just leaving."

"You'll pay for this, you little slut!" Smith shouted and reached over to kiss her. In a blink of an eye, James had his wand out and pointed straight at Smith's throat.

"Apologize," he growled in Smith's ear, "and you won't have the Marauders dogging your footsteps until Graduation."

Smith paled and everyone knew what James had threatened.

"My apologizes, Evans," Smith said in a somewhat shaky voice. He turned and left. James had disappeared as well.

"Come on, everyone!" Sirius shouted. "The dance is still on!"

Lily ran out of the room, searching for James.

"James?" she called, looking left and right. She finally found him sitting out by the lake.

"Lily?" he looked up and Lily frowned to see his eyes red. Had he been crying? But then, he had the most reason to cry of them all.

"I was hoping for another dance," she said softly. James got up and bowed a little towards her. Giggling a little, Lily curtseyed.

_There you see her_

_Sitting there across the way_

_She don't got a lot to say_

_But there's something about her_

_And you don't know why_

_But you're dying to try_

_You wanna kiss the girl_

"SIRIUS!" both Lily and James shouted.

"Listen to the song, mate!" Sirius popped up from his hiding place. "Kiss her! You've been wanting to since fifth year!"

"Excuse me," James said to Lily, "I've got a best mate to neuter!"

Lily raised an eyebrow at the comment but Sirius seemed to understand as he squeaked a little and ran off.

"Where were we?" Lily asked as James chuckled, "and how did Black know those lyrics?"

"He did take Muggle Studies, Lily," James said with another chuckle.

Lily smiled and then thought back to what Sirius had said a month ago exactly.

_You are the _only_ person who can make him happy right now._

Was that true? She didn't think so. What she did know what that James was an amazing dancer.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

A/N: I only own my OC's (who are dead). Sorry, I've been busy and well forgot about this story. *sad face* *dodges projectiles* HEY! At least I'm updating!

In the weeks after the dance, the rumor that James Potter and Lily Evans were dating spread throughout the halls of Hogwarts. This was second to the rumor that James had managed to castrate John Smith that night at the dance.

"Yeah right," James brushed off the rumor when it reached his ears, though he didn't deny that he liked the idea. He just didn't want to talk about it because that would probably lead to them talking about the event that had occurred in June. He just wasn't ready.

"Why not?" Sirius, who had been the person who had brought the rumor to his friend's attention, demanded. "All you do is lie about your room, or in the library, or run us ragged on the Pitch."

"Weren't you the one pining over her for six years?" Remus asked from his spot on the couch in the Head Common room. Peter was sleeping in the regular dorms.

"Whatever," James shrugged and walked out of the room. He didn't need that right now, and more importantly he didn't want Lily getting hurt because of him. He already had his siblings' blood on his hands—he didn't want Lily's as well.

"James!"

James turned around, expecting to see Sirius or Remus trailing after him but to his surprise Lily was chasing him down. He thought his heart had stopped at the sight of her red hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and her pants instead of the uniform. Her green shirt seemed to bring out the color of her eyes even more, and James couldn't stop staring.

"Hey Lily," he choked out.

"Forget we had a prefects meeting today?" Lily asked with a smirk. James didn't know why she was treating him differently, but he liked it. It was nice to know she didn't completely hate him.

"Ah," James nodded, rubbing the back of his neck out of embarrassment. "Sorry, had a lot on my mind."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Lily chuckled and grabbed his hand to lead James to the meeting. They both knew that he'd probably avoid it anyway unless there was some motivation. Before entering the room, Lily stopped suddenly and held James back, causing the raven-haired boy to raise an eyebrow in inquiry.

"The other prefects want to make a memorial in your sisters' honor," Lily said in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear. "Edgar Bones talked to me yesterday, while you were at practice."

James really didn't know what to say. While he was honored that the other prefects cared about his sisters enough to do this, he also didn't want to think about it. Hell, he still hadn't talked about it with Sirius, let alone anyone else.

"You can shoot down the idea," Lily said quickly, as if knowing what he was thinking. "Or you don't have to go if you approve."

James sighed. At least he wouldn't have to hear about it even if he did approve.

"Thanks Lils," James shot her a small grin. "Tell the others I approve. Just tell them I got detention or something. They'll buy that."

Lily nodded and watched him walk off. It felt strange, the fact that the Marauders had not once pulled one of their (amusing) pranks. It didn't feel like Hogwarts without it. Shaking her head, she walked into the meeting alone.

0000

James could be found on the other side of the lake, skipping rocks and pondering Lily's new attitude towards him. She spent six years hating the ground he walked on and now she was being…nice? It was too weird.

"Hey Potter," some passing students nodded in his direction. James waved but didn't say anything. Those who weren't his friends wanted to know everything about what happened as much as those who were his friends.

"Mate?" a soft voice came from behind James, pushing him out of his thoughts and almost shoving him into the water.

"Damn it Sirius!" James shouted, annoyed that Sirius had finally gotten him alone. So much for lurking in solitude like he'd planned.

"Thought you had a Prefects meeting today," Sirius said as he sat down next to his best friend. Sirius ignored the shouting, because that's what James did when you surprised him. Honestly, Sirius would have been worried if he hadn't gotten that reaction.

"Did everyone know about that meeting but me?" James asked, sitting down next to Sirius.

"Peter didn't."

"That's Peter though," James countered, rolling his eyes as he continued to skip rocks. "You know how bad his memory is."

"True," Sirius conceded. There was a moment of silence that James thought could possibly be the best moment of silence he ever experienced. Not talking was better than talking about that night. Unfortunately, Sirius didn't see it that way.

"When did it happen?" he asked and James stiffened.

"Mate, I don't—"

"I don't care," Sirius almost growled, causing James to look at him in surprise. "The Potters were my family too, in case you forgot Prongs. Don't I at least have the right to know when it happened?"

James sighed. Sirius was right, surprisingly. His mum and dad had taken Sirius in the summer before Sixth Year after he arrived at their door, soaked to the bone from a summer storm. Since then, the Potters had been a second family to him.

"The day of the Potter reunion," James muttered.

"What?" Sirius asked, startled out of his intensity by James' answer.

"It was the day of the Potter reunion," James said, louder since he figured there was no conceivable way to get out of this conversation. "Everyone was there, and Mum said I had to attend."

"That was the day that I asked you to visit my new flat?" Sirius asked and was kicking himself. He should have been there. Sure, he wasn't a Potter by blood but Mrs. Potter had owled him an invitation anyway. Maybe an extra fighter could have….

"Yeah," James said with a glum smile as he looked out toward the lake. "Mum was so fierce of trying to keep the war away from us."

"Why didn't you tell me? That day on the train?" Sirius asked James, lowering his voice to avoid any passersby from hearing. "Mate?"

"I…I didn't want to admit it," James said, a hesitant note in his voice. "Admitting it would have been the final—"

"You don't have to say anymore James," Sirius said with a knowing look in his eyes. Saying it aloud would have made it final. Sirius had gone through that for a few weeks after the death of his Great-Uncle right after Fifth Year ended. Sirius knew that he had to change the topic and quickly; if pressed too much James would just clam up. "So why aren't you at the Prefects meeting?"

"Lily said the other Prefects wanted to do something to honor Amy and Katyln," James told him. "She said I could skip if I wanted to."

"Nice of her," Sirius said, with a hint of surprise in his voice. "Thought she would just make you sit through that."

"She's a little more sympathetic than you think," James said and then a thought struck him. All the prefects wanted to make a memorial for his sisters but what about Lily's parents? What about all the muggle borns who lost family due to the Death Eaters and Voldemort? Where was their memorial?

"Sirius?"

"Yeah mate?" Sirius looked over to see a familiar gleam in his best friend's eyes. Only this time, Sirius didn't know what it could possibly mean.

"Run back to the dorm and get Moony will you? I've got an idea."


End file.
